Chapter 135
Loiza's POV
He parted to give me air. We were still sitting on the Cold Stone of the balcony, I could still hear the song of the ocean. It wasn't so loud anymore, they were here to help awaken me. They always have, they're loyalty to me has always been limitless. I abandoned them out of fear, and yet, I can never stay away. I hold on to his arm as he held on to me. Our bond was open now, he just doesn't remember my name, he always has this problem. Oh he will awaken first, but to put the pieces together he always comes to me! He doesn't have the patience, he just wants it done with, my beautiful and kneeling Sun, stubborn and even childish sometimes. He was an actual born God, I merely a Neriad... It was later when they forced me to marry that asshole that I was granted the title of Goddess.
"You still don't know MY name huh? We've been through this over a hundred times, and I will grant you this, again you are better at waking up but damn baby seriously?!" He looks at me surprised but smiling, of course! his eyes have always been jade! We swore never to change our physical appearance to find each other easier, but since we were in a mortal body it helped us escape those we wanted to leave behind. He looks like a little boy every time he gives me exactly that same goofy smile!
"So... you have it figured out?" He looks adorable! And I can't help myself but start laughing I stand up and go and get a bottle of wine.
"Baby I already know YOUR name if I know your name it means I already have solved MY end of the puzzle! By Gaia Love! Remember, start with remembering that yes you are Apollo but you're still YOU. Remember the wolf is what centers us to the planet. Our wolves carry our divine self, that's how you hunted them yourself! I always have to remind you of this! Come on!" He starts laughing that eternal boyish laugh of his.
"All right, all right! It's just that what happened this morning got my adrenaline pumping, I already had the Awakening and just wanted this done with! You know that the moment I remember all I have to do is give you a little nudge..." But this time I had the block on so yeah that little nudge was barely felt this time! No wonder he said we'd never have to deal with this before! Ugh!
"Did you ask Moira if there was a clerical mistake done somewhere about putting you inside a psychopathic Priestess?!" He goes through his questions in his mind and look at him still sitting on the floor of the balcony... oh boy.
"I seriously JUST called her! Please don't be angry at me I was desperate here!" I can't help but smile at his eternal impatientness. Such a stuck up brat! And he stands up and he starts walking over dusting himself off. He's something else!
"Fine well let's try to center Kayden because that's your life right now and that's what you have to accept! So be aware that I am not going to call you Apollo anymore unless special circumstances allow. And YOU have to remember my name because I can't give it to you, once you achieve that, you'll be completely in tune, I can give you tips so the rest you have to do on your own. Are you with me so far?" He's frowning quizzically... I sure hope he doesn't hurt himself! He is one of the main Greek gods and one of his main factions is knowledge and the arts. It's just that every single one that was born Divine for some reason has this instilled natural arrogance, they're a lot like elves! And since he hasn't had worshipers for pretty much thousands of years I guess it gets to a deity!
"Are you serious right now?! I totally heard that! Did you forget that now we don't have the block thing I can hear you all time?!" Well I'll be damned! That's absolutely right! Anyway...
"Touchè, moving on what we were at? You see that's fluidity honey. You don't keep infecting the wound. Now Focus! How are you feeling about the name Kayden and the persona?" He looks at me with a shocked face! Okay I'm starting to salivate here! His face relaxes and I could see his acceptance, very good!
"I don't know which one to adjust to?" Man that was stupid about the block! But seriously I don't know of anything else I would have made me keep on going. For other things my focus would just go haywire! And I was always taught to keep my powers in control.
"All right, well that makes it easier! We will focus on Kayden since you already know you are Apollo." I already told him I wouldn't call him by that name!
"Would you join me for a glass of wine Kayden?" I ask.
"I would." He responds with his intense glare, I swallow hard. And before I go for glasses he gets them and takes the bottle from my hand, he proceeded to uncorked the bottle and pours for both of us... I can't stop but stare at his long dark lashes while he is concentrated on his task. He pours some in each glass and he hands me one.
"Thank you." And I feel a little flushed by just that.
"What should we drink to?" He asks, he is taking his time, he is showing much more control than I saw in our stay at Blood Moon, he is letting Apollo ground him, letting Deacon, his spirit animal closer to the surface.
Aryn is focused especially with what happened earlier. So I decide to let his ears listen to us in unison so that he understands he is no longer a god but a mortal.
"Deacon! I know you can hear me, we need to you to center yourself and balance yourself more with Kayden. Don't focus on Apollo, you will receive information from him little by little. Focus on what you know. Don't lose yourself. Are you focused Kayden? Come on baby listen you asked what should we drink for? Remember? You tell me what do you think?" I'm feeling like I could probably pull off being a psychotherapist!
"Loiza, I'm sorry... I don't know what to say. I don't remember any mortal lifetime were I had to deal with these types of people. I thought I had left those people behind when I gave up my immortality... I'm very sorry that apparently this was the price for us to meet this lifetime. I really hope you don't hate me for it..." Was this really the price? To make me basically torture him?
I expected excuses or reproach, but nothing like that. Just a man asking the woman he loves for forgiveness. After almost a year as Cacique dealing with fake smiles, being careful with whom I trust and having to listen to endless political banter and people who don't know how to say things directly and just beat around the bush it was extremely refreshing to hear Kayden's simple request for forgiveness.
"Oh Kayden, I forgave you a long time ago. The question lies, do you forgive me?" I asked looking away from his gaze.
"Forgive you? I have nothing to forgive you for Love." He says taking another sip of his wine.
"C'mon Kayden! I used the mate Bond to gather information, that in itself is reprehensible! I took the moment in which we were finally going to be one and awaken and I used it in favor of my pack." I put my face in my hands in shame. It was always during the ritual that we start to awaken, this time I used it to gather intel... I betrayed him just as much as he betrayed me.
"Yup, I slept like a rock for three days!" He says with a bitter chuckle while he swirls some wine in his glass. "Remind me never ever to get in your bad side again My Love, unless I have insomnia then do your worst! I still remember that night as the best one I have had so far in this lifetime Alpha." A huge smile painted across his face... What a cheeky bastard!
"Babe, whatever it is I forgive you already. I just don't want to be apart from you anymore Loiza. You are my mate I can't keep being away from you... I endured in the hope to hold you in my arms again."
"You're not mad at me?" He gets out of his chair and kneels in front of me, while I'm sitting on the divan so that he could look me in my eyes.
"Iza, you know I never hired anyone to block my end of the Bond... well, I did, but I couldn't go thought with it, instead I asked for this."
He hands me a charm bag reeking with my scent, it has the lock of hair I left in the book with the herbs used to enhance the scent. I look at him questioningly, he sticks out his hand signaling to hand it back over and I do. "It has been my lucky charm these months, I have felt when you are happy, I have felt you sad, angry, annoyed, hopeful... stressed. I have felt when you were feeling confused for another man, I admit, those were nights full of nightmares... I have felt when you are aroused and masturbate, it makes me horny every time, it makes me even harder when I know you are thinking of the nights of US, I usually join in and cum every time you do. You are the most beautiful and smart woman I know, you take my breath away every lifetime, you could have kept the other who you were confused for to satisfy your needs and give me pain but you never did. You have always proved to me your love, and I swear to you Loiza I have been true to you. I just can't even think of another woman in my life. Do you understand Love? I love you so much that I would allow Him to execute me as he always wanted and be DONE with it, as long as he lets you go, but as Kayden I am as I am by your side from now till our next meeting."
My heart is racing, he was ALWAYS an amazing poet! That's how we actually got in my pants the first time in the first place! I stand up and go to the window. The blue of the sea soothing me. I feel his eyes on me... what have I done?!
I suddenly feel his arms surrounding me gently and a fucking tear escapes my eye and falls on his arm, Ugh! He turns me around to look at me but I evade his eyes looking down and he insists by lifting my chin to face him but I can't look at his eyes. "Please look at me Love."
I can't help it and face his eyes. "Listen to me, what you did, you did for your people, you did your duty which is more than what many so called alphas, leaders, presidents, kings or queens are willing to do to protect their own, we have seen it through the ages! Remember when we used to read Cicero's teachings? 'Where there is life, there is hope'. Even then you were editing the writer! That's how YOU got into MY pants! That's why you were one grandmother's favorite pupils and why that sister of mine we shall not name, hates you so much! Jealous cunt!
"Look I was in pain, I still am, but I understand. We are together again now! So please stop doing this, ok? If you want to make it up to me you will stop feeling like this, it had purpose, do you understand Love?" I can only nod while he wipes the few tears that were stubborn enough to disobey my will. And I suddenly remember a detail he mentioned and I can't help but smile and he gives me a questioning smile...
"What?" He asks.
"Wait, so you masturbate when I do?!" I start laughing hysterically! I have already accepted that I am Loiza, I am of water. That's how he loved me...
"Damn, I guess I should have kept that part to myself..." He side glances me with the corner of his eyes, a small blush on his rugged cheeks.
"Absolutely not! That's the part that has me intrigued, I'm remembering the rest!" And I start laughing again while I throw my arms around his neck landing a kiss on his lips!