Chapter 80

Kayden's POV

She thought of me! She misses me, she yearns for me! But she doesn't trust me...

'...He didn't trust me with the truth...'

She feels I betrayed her... I did. I put people who I know did horrible things because they were my parents over the mate the Goddess gave me. I saw a vision of a yellow blossom in an ocean of blue ones. She feels heartbroken. What have I done?

"Your move Kay." Marcus reminds me. We have been going over Loiza's moves again. The shrine is almost done, hopefully by tomorrow. I will start calling the Lady Moira as soon as the first dawn after it's complete. I have doubled my training, if she asks me to behead Lydia and Keaton I will, but I have to be strong enough not to let Mordred take over.

They designed a beautiful piece and since I told them I would be burning offerings, they decided brick was best. No need to burn the pack down.

But the yearning she felt for another is gone and I am more relaxed, I carry the charm and It's like she's right in front of me. I do feel her ill from time to time and just a few weeks ago she had a while of feeling very nervous... Is she well? I hate not knowing, I just get her feelings.

Endora has been making herself useful by trying to at least weakening the Block or enhancing our Bond.

We have begun some reforms, yet I don't want to move forward until the Kappas are done. I want for everyone to begin at the same time.

Word has spread that our pack lost a large number of members and rogues have been spotted at the borders and some have tried to breech inside testing our defenses. I need that shrine done ASAP, I will need the Kappas working on something else to convince the Warriors to accept the amount of training I am planning for them.

I started reading Cicero, but it hasn't jogged Deacon's memory, all he remembers was that he was wise but he says there were wiser ones still. He gives me names and I look for them and read about them. The last name he gave me was that of Hepatia of Alexandria, and the more I read about her work, her teachings, her vision the more she reminds me of Loiza... Yet her death was gruesome. For such a talented teacher and visionary to die like that was tragic.

He said that he was able to contact Aryn for a little moment and she told him that Loiza was reading the Bhagavad Gita. So I got it, and damn it was a LOT, Marcus read it too, but we don't have her notes for this book so we have to interpret it as best we can. I watched videos and a documentary about it and different opinions on it, I really wish I had Izzy's notes. So that's where that human scientist who made the atomic bomb got that quote saying that he has become death, the destroyer of worlds. Yet through the Bond, I sense that the part that interested Izzy the most was the part where it says "Revenge is not the answer but neither is forgiveness." And I felt she was thinking about me when she analyzed it... This unsettled me for days.

If only I could turn back time... I would make every decision differently. I guess it's true that hindsight is 20/20.

I went back to her notes and started studying the people who inspired the writing of The Prince and the people Izzy mentions in the art of war. She does mention Supernatural battles and Marcus searched for books on them in the library at The Council... He says he feels uncomfortable going there now, but this is information we can't find anywhere else.

Yet with everything I have read I started writing my own notes, my own opinions, my own strategies. And we would try them out not only on the chess board, but against invaders at the borders. And just as some failed and we had casualties, mostly were successful. I still kept to what I learned from Izzy, yet I was learning to think differently and with Marcus's help, more creative with my way of advancing in battle and life.

Alpha Everett of Half Crescent Moon called wanting to meet. It's funny that I was just thinking about him and his pack the other week. I told him that he was more than welcome to come over and I raised the defense of the pack to assure no disturbances during his visit.

He arrived a few days after, his sons Jonas and Jeremy were not with him, not even Beta Duke was with him. Just his Gamma and a few Deltas made his entourage.

"Alpha Everett, it's good to see you after so long, what brings you over?" He looked like a beaten up man, he was just a little younger than my father, yet he looked older.

"Alpha Kayden, it's good to be here, thank you for meeting with me on such short notice." He even sounds exhausted.

"No problem Alpha, do you want something to drink?" Let's get over the small talk.

"No, no, I have been doing to much of that as of late. Let me be frank with you Alpha, I am old enough to know when I am done. We have always been a small pack and grow smaller by the day. Last week we had a great loss..." He takes a deep breath and continues. "We had a very well coordinated attack from rogues from the north... Both my sons and heirs as well as my Beta were among the dead and my dear Luna is full of grief." Whoa that would explain why he looks so broken.

"Alpha... I didn't know what to say. By the Goddess! I offer my most deep condolences. Is there anything Blood Moon can do to help?" Damn that is harsh.

"Listen Kayden, I am aware of the exodus some of your pack have made, word is going around that your Lun-- sorry, your mate has already had three packs join her and they have submitted to her accepting her as their Alpha doubling their numbers. I hear of talks of others wanting to join the might of The Osupa who after the tragedy that befell them have quickly recovered and are now stronger than ever under her rule. Do you have any idea how to contact her? I am willing to give up my title as well for sanctuary." I have been so invested in my grief and working on reforms to better my own pack that I had not heard these news. THREE packs have submitted to her?!

"I thank you for your frankness Alpha, and I will be honest with you as well. I have no idea how to contact her... Not for lack of trying, but there are some steps I must first follow before getting her back. To get to Karaya one must be invited. I was a fool about many things and she chose to continue to lead her people over me. I am just finding out now of her achievements, although it doesn't surprise me. My mate is not only beautiful and a powerful Priestess, she also has a very sharp mind for leading and she is also a skilled diplomat. Before she left me she gave me her own notes and strategies to be a better Alpha and I assure you that I have been working tirelessly to adapt to the Osupa philosophy and implement it here. Not just for my pack, but to be the mate she deserves and have her back or at least earn that invitation to Karaya that you yourself want." I gave him enough information I was willing to share.

"I see... And she has not rejected you?" That would end me.

"Thank the Goddess, no. She has put a powerful blocking spell on our Bond, but has not rejected me, as I have no intention of rejecting her. Like I said I am studying her notes and The Osupa philosophy to implement reforms very soon to be stronger. I have every intention of being by her side again, and even with the powerful Block she has put in place I can feel her yearning for me and I am dedicated to earning her trust back." And I really hope it works.

"And how are you handling your own pain? You are looking stronger than ever despite your losses." I give him a weak smile.

"With difficulty, yet if I allow my pain to consume me how will I get such a strong woman back? I am not just working on getting stronger physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Balance is one of the core beliefs of The Osupa and I intend on following that path... If I allow my grief to win then I have already lost her completely and that is not a path I am willing to walk. I am done being a boy with stupid tantrums, I wake up everyday and do everything I must to firstly be a competent Alpha to my own pack. If I only think of getting her back and neglect my people, she will definitely not take me back, I know her mind enough to know that self pity is something she will not tolerate. She is making her pack stronger and so must I." He is thinking about what I just said.

"I will have that drink now if you don't mind Alpha, yet I would like coffee if that's ok?" I link Nancy to bring coffee up.

"It's on it's way Alpha, I am sorry I don't have the information that you need." And Nancy comes in with the coffee.

"No, you don't yet you have something else. I would like to make you a proposal Alpha Kayden. We have only about 300 members left, and the reforms you talk about implementing sound quite interesting especially if they follow the Osupa philosophy. If my pack continues on as are, we are finished. I have no heirs to continue to lead and my people are tired. It seems to me that Alpha Loiza has left you with a blue print to achieve the techniques that make The Osupa strong and you are going to build from there. As we are right now, my pack will not survive the Winter, we are on our last leg. You still are mate to her and she seems to be willing to give you another chance. I propose to give up my title of Alpha and submit to you as my Alpha and unite my people to yours so that we may learn as one pack what you have learned. What do say? Will you allow us to join Blood Moon and be our Alpha?" Well this was unexpected! I stand up and look at his men. Could I trust them? Could I trust him? Endora is not a Truth Seer, yet she did mention a spell that allows for questions to be answered truthfully. That should work.

"Everett I accept your proposal yet there are conditions that I require." I link Marcus to start thinking about questions that could weed out possible traitors or Council spies.

"What would those conditions be Alpha?" He asks tiredly.

"Every one in your pack must pass a line of questioning, don't worry it will not involve torture of any kind, just a truth spell. I have been hosting a witch who is serving as a magical tutor if you will, I have been learning about quite a lot of matters I was ignorant of and she has a spell which compels people to only speak truthfully. If you and your people are willing to go through with this condition to ensure the own protection of my pack I would be more than happy to join our people and be one pack and teach you all side by side with us what we have learned." He looks at me thoughtfully.

"Well Alpha, if that's your condition I accept, it seems you're taking drastic measures to protect and strengthen your people. And if we become your people as well I am happy that you take their protection from those who would harm them seriously. Very good move indeed Alpha you have actually made me more sure about my decision. When can we expect to host you and your witch to be questioned?" He asks.

"Stay as our guests tonight while I speak to Endora, if she is ready I see no reason to go tomorrow and get your people situated and settled before another attack befalls you. Do you agree?"

"I agree to your terms Alpha." I link to get rooms ready for him and his men. I hope Endora agrees.